What would I tell my 21 year old self?
The newly found adventurous woman in me got to go on another trip in July, but this time it was with my beautiful baby girl! She wanted to take a mother-daughter trip for her 21st birthday! We decided to celebrate BIG and boy howdy did we, everything is BIGGER ($$) in Texas! Our 5-day vaca was spent eating, drinking, laughing and sight seeing between Dallas and Fort Worth. I am so grateful that she wanted to spend such a monumental birthday with me. These times are so precious and we don’t get them back. I’m pretty sure it was also because she knew Momma would foot the bill and Mom is still loads of fun! LOL 😊 Being able to watch this incredible little human that I gave birth to 21 years ago grow into such a dynamic young woman is the most precious gift a momma could ask for. It made me reflect on who and where I was at that age and ask, as so many people often do, what would you go back and tell your 21-year-old self?
Oh, precious self, I would tell her so many things…
1)For starters, listen to your Mom! She knows what is best for you, she has seen and lived more than you have, she can see around the obstacles you are about to face and she wants to keep you from hitting those speed bumps if she can. My Mom gave me so many little bits of advice but I was too stubborn to listen. I thought I was smarter and knew what I wanted/needed. HA - HA, nope! If I would have just listened and taken some of her advice, I would have made a few better choices that would have helped me take the shorter path.
2) LIVE YOUR LIFE for you!! No one else! Don’t let anyone, a family member, a friend, or a man sway you from your goals and dreams! You get one chance at life, go on the trips, be responsible, but have FUN and seize every opportunity that comes your way! NEVER SETTLE for less!
3) VERY IMPORTANT, if you want to have taut youthful skin and grow old gracefully, DON’T forget to WEAR SUNSCREEN. Stay out of tanning beds and DO NOT slather yourself in baby oil or Crisco then climb up on the roof with a silver reflective mat! WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU THINKING?
4) You can do all the cardio you want but skinny isn’t going to get you anywhere! Fad diets are not long-term solutions, they are typically started by the food and drug industry who only want to see you fail so that you eat more, become unhealthy, and need prescriptions! In order to be fit and healthy, you need to eat well-balanced meals, get good hydration, and lots of sleep! Stop depriving yourself by eating small meals that don’t fill you up or skipping meals! Most importantly, lift the weights and build muscle! Don’t be afraid you will get BIG and bulky, because unless you take steroids that won’t happen! The muscle you build in your 20’s will help keep you strong, give you good posture, keep your bones healthy and burn fat!
5) Stop people pleasing and take time for self- care. Check in with your emotions, find a good counselor or an outside voice of reason that can help you navigate life. Learn how to communicate effectively, speak your voice, stand up for yourself and don’t just let things slide off your back to avoid conflict. Sometimes it’s ok to put yourself first! Again, this is your life and you are the only one who will be standing by your side the whole way.
6) Look for alternatives besides the hormone disrupting birth control pill. Don’t just take what the Dr prescribes for you or what insurance offers. Ask the questions, do your research, get to know your body and what works best for you. Birth control can mess with your anxiety, depression and cause future issues we weren’t prepared for.
7) Embrace the beautiful and stop wishing you looked a certain way! The person you are seeing right now is YOU, beautifully and perfectly made in God’s image. Stop telling yourself that you wish you had different features, were skinnier, had bigger boobs, smaller feet, darker skin, or that the person in the mirror isn’t pretty enough. She is! So, remember that each time you look at her it’s the last time you will see her like that, the youngest most beautiful version of you. You are constantly changing and you don’t get that second back. Love her, embrace her and know your worth.
8) Talk to your grandparents and older family members, really get to know them and spend time with them. Ask them questions, get to know their stories and learn about your family history. Look at pictures with them, see who and where you came from so you can better understand yourself and who you are becoming.
9) Learn to spend time alone, live alone, go to dinner alone, go to the movies alone, take short trips alone, go to parties alone. BE OK with loving yourself and enjoying time alone!
10) Lastly, Trust in God! Have Faith and know that he has a plan for you! IT WILL ALL WORK OUT! Don’t sweat the small stuff, don’t let roadblocks get in your way. Try not to stress out over things that are out of your control, all you can control is your reaction to situations and how you handle them. Don’t spend too much time being negative or angry, it makes you age faster! Find the positive in every situation and use those lessons to take the next step of becoming your best self.
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